Having finished the previous blog, it got me thinking about what to do next…
There are newly purchased bedding plants to go into the garden, and 2 beautiful Acer trees, which were inspiration from a recent visit to a beautiful Highland garden.
As so often happens, I intend to complete a blog and then the words get stuck and I drift away, sometimes mentally and sometimes literally. ☺
The new plants mentioned above were all planted out into the garden some time ago. The rain has poured down on them and considering the lack of warmth in our June days, the plants have done remarkably well.
I smile to myself as the sun makes a brief appearance and warms my back.
The clouds have been so low I’ve taken to sitting and looking into the house, rather than out to sea for a few days. It’s such a contrast from this time last year.
Not to worry there have been things going on internally.
When we cleared out Dads house, I collected many of the old photo albums and camera stuff and brought them north with me. There are some books too. The question is, what to do with them all?
It feels too soon to go through them, so they are packed away safely and may remain there for a while. It also feels like a job for the autumn not the summer.
It’s funny how, when you are packing up a lifetime (someone else’s at that) and under pressure as we were, that everything gets done, and many quick decisions are made. However, now there is time to reflect, and I realise (with a sigh) that it doesn’t matter how much stuff you have from the past, nothing, absolutely nothing makes up for the loss of that person.
There have been so many losses…
Some through death and some through circumstance…
Some through choice, and some not through choice…
Some have brought relief, and some have brought great sadness…
Some have made me accept something, while others have made me angry…
My sister once gave me a poem about the ease of losing things/places/people.
“One Art” by Elizabeth Bishop… “The art of losing isn’t hard to master;”
Once you have mastered it, losing something that is. It comes easily, or so the poem says.
I sit and ponder this thought. I suppose it’s a good lesson in non-attachment, letting go brings much relief as time goes by. People and things are sometimes lost, but the happier soul, while keeping them in their heart, does not allow the loss to weigh them down all the time…
It’s now raining again after a couple of days of good weather. The forecast promises more rain over the coming days, it will give me more time to ponder! ☺
On the rare occasion that I’ve thought I’d lost the will to live, something always spurs me on. I can look back now over a good few rocky times and know that I am here for as long as it takes!
I don’t know what it is.
Or how long that will be.
But I do know there is a life force that keeps me going.
Call it what you will, I tend to prefer Universe/Source.
When things get too much, I find myself talking to the Universe. I give thanks for everything and even when something seems not to be going my way I give thanks anyway!
It has not always been like this, it has been through pain and suffering that I find myself here. All I can say is, that I’m glad I am here right now.
What has changed?
So much…
I take things more slowly; I have more compassion for other people’s ways; I try and continue to be kind, as no one knows what another person is really going through; I have more understanding of myself and I like myself more; I try not to compare myself to other people; I am more grateful than ever, and as you know, actively acknowledge gratitude. I also accept things (that are out of my control) more easily, and finally I forgive more readily.
These are all skills we carry within us.
Some people use them more often than others, some never realise how lucky they are, and some you realise will never be on your wavelength!
That doesn’t matter, what matters, is that you put your best foot forward so to speak, and look up to the stars and appreciate what you do have in your life.
Some may say these skills come with age, but I feel they are also the skills that will help keep us young!
When I write, I am writing for myself as much as for you. Over the last few years, every time I have thought of stopping the blog, I am convinced to carry on. Many people have sent messages of support over this time.
After a gap of many weeks, I can feel the creativity starting to flow again. Blogging, personal journaling, and poetry writing have been such a great comforter over the years and now I fully understand why my sister wrote so much.
There is great joy in writing thoughts down, even if they are sad thoughts.
It gives purpose to them.
It helps make sense of life…
It also gives power to them!
So going forward, remember to choose your thoughts wisely…
With gratitude as always to you having read this far, it makes it all worth while, and keeps me writing and moving ever onwards x ☺