It was something my niece and I both said when my Dad, her Grandfather, was in Intensive Care after the fall that kept him in hospital for nearly 2 months.
“Too soon, too soon…”
It was too soon for us to lose my Father, after my sister’s death a few years earlier. I think he thought he was going to die too. He reminded us of his wishes and asked about his will. We reassured him that everything was in hand.
I know several people who have lost 2 family members, (often parents) very close together, and I can barely imagine how that feels. The gap between my parent’s deaths was just over 15 years. Time to adjust to a new way of being.
But, even so losing Dad only a few years after my sister just felt too much…
I will be eternally grateful for the extra 3 years we had with him. There were days when his care seemed so very difficult, and I don’t think he was too happy about the limitations he was facing in daily life either.
However, he mostly enjoyed his final years in his own home and we cared for him in the best way possible, based on his wishes.
He was a very organised person and had several years earlier, got a metal file together with all his paperwork pretty much in order. He had shown my brother and I where it lived. We all knew where it was and what it meant.
Dad was always thinking about others. I rarely heard him say a bad word about anyone. He was a wonderful example of kindness and gentleness, in deed a true gentleman. And he was thoughtful in his end of life planning too, ensuring the paperwork was all together, and as organised as possible.
With this in mind, it is an ideal opportunity to tell you about Before I Go Solutions, developed by Jane Duncan Rogers, a very talented friend. “The BIG Method” will assist you in planning for the future. It follows the death of her husband and then subsequently writing her inspirational book “Gifted by Grief”.
It is all about creating a good end of life plan. Take a look at Jane’s website - https://www.beforeigosolutions.com/ - You can order the workbook on line, I have mine!
I have still to fully complete my workbook, but it is a step in the right direction. I truly believe by facing death we can fully embrace life.
I have a “when I go” folder on my laptop, and a death box too!
Both are works in progress, collecting together information and documents to help my family when the time comes. Strangely, I feel liberated at the thought of being organised.
It does not bring death closer, but it potentially wakes you up to what’s important.
Everybody’s situation is completely individual. But maybe in writing about this, it will be food for thought for you.
If you haven’t got things in place, no matter how healthy you are and how young you are, this is a great way to live life to the full, knowing that your wishes are recorded for a future certainty, and that your planning ahead will ease a lot of the practical stresses associated with losing a loved one.
Here’s to a long and happy life…
None of us know how long we have got with our one and precious life in this physical realm. So make the most of each and every day, continue to enjoy the tiny pleasures in each and every way.
A smile spreads across my face as I sigh…
I look up and watch the clouds dancing across the mountaintops, just low enough to cling to them and gather round the summits.
I recall my sister once telling me, how comfortable she was with death. Now sat here, thinking about her as often as I do, I think yet again how wise she was.
For now, I’m going to get moving and make some more good memories, get more creative again, and rejoice in this break in the constant rain!
And I’ve just remembered, we’re just past the new moon ☺
Now I know where all this activity is coming from!
Onwards, onwards, for another day beckons. With much grace and gratitude to you all x ☺